The word ‘shock’ lost its meaning for me a long time ago. But even I didn’t have this on my bingo card. On May 28, I learned that Dr. Morris Wortman, my biological father and my mother’s fertility doctor, was killed in a plane crash west of Rochester, NY. Dr. Wortman was the passenger in […]
It’s late and my inclination to self-edit and polish my words on the way out of my fingertips is non-existent tonight. So stream of conscience is what you’ll get, because I’ve been eager to update you. Last week, I and six other offspring of fertility fraud (mom’s doctors = our biological fathers) partook in two […]
In August this year, my brother CJ took his life. It’s been five months, disorienting as that is to write. The permanence and the suddenness of it still defies words, and because words are how I make sense of the world, I’m still not sure how to digest the act of his suicide. I’ve certainly […]
10 months ago, I confirmed that Dr. Morris Wortman, my mother’s fertility doctor, is my biological father. Two weeks ago, I sat in front of the TV and watched myself on Good Morning America as I discussed that and more with Nightline anchor, Juju Chang. If you’ve been following along, the above is both a concise summary of all […]
If you invested any of your time and energy with me while my story was unfolding, I owe you an apology. Eight months ago, I buried the lede about the biggest revelation of this ongoing story, and then I disappeared. Spoiler: my biological father is, in fact, my mother’s fertility doctor. I could bore you […]
People told me parenting would be hard. No one told me it might be because I wouldn’t feel particularly connected to my own child. Or that shaming myself into silence for feeling that way would only make it harder. It was the 4th of July. After struggling to hand-feed my stubborn 14-year-old diva Shih Tzu […]
The nurse hands me my son. He’s minutes old, hued in that familiar, faint purple newborn flesh. I take his tiny body in my hands, which seem massive in proportion, and bring him to my chest. He’s draped in standard-issue hospital swaddle, no longer crying as his tiny cheek and the small O-shape of his […]
A few nights ago, I spoke to one of my half-siblings over the phone. These days, on the precipice of learning once and for all who ‘dad’ is, these conversations are happening more often. “It’s crazy to think this might finally be done,” she said, then pondered out-loud, “How long has it been since this […]
Four hours faded from the day between the time I received her message – we’ll call ‘her’ Anna — and the time we were to FaceTime. As 5:30pm approached, I felt physical tension in my arms and chest, like a coiled, tightly bound cluster of cables. Breathing became a conscious act, an exercise in intentional […]
In early September 2017, I rode my bike four short blocks to the Holocaust Memorial Miami Beach. I’d lived near the intersection of 17th Street and Washington Avenue for three years — next to a synagogue — and drove past the haunting memorial and sculpture most days on my way to and from work. I […]
