DIARY OF A MISCARRIAGE

Writer’s note: I am writing this in week 21 of a healthy pregnancy, as my wife and I anticipate the June 2021 arrival of our baby boy. But, he is in fact our second pregnancy. This story is about our first. April 28, 2020. This is the most stunning Saturday I’ve seen in months. The […]

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UNCOVERING THE IDENTITY OF MY DONOR : PART 4

(Continued) October 2017: Morgan zooms in to show us his picture. And in an instant, the whimsical nature of our curiosity is gone. Because in that picture is a bald man, with crow’s feet set around bright blue eyes. And he looks strikingly like three people we know. Us.  Our nervous bursts of laughter precede […]

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UNCOVERING THE IDENTITY OF MY DONOR : PART 3

It’s time for a confession. This post, and the next, are ones I’ve wanted to write for close to three years. Clearly, I haven’t. To date, I’ve gone to great personal depths in these pages. I generally write to the edge of my vulnerability and stop. But, most of the first 15,000(ish) words you’ve read […]

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UNCOVERING THE IDENTITY OF MY DONOR : PART 2

In late September 2017, I was baptized as an unwitting new member into the community of the donor conceived. It’s an intense, tightly-knit one, though it would be months before I’d know that for myself. In the early days, I had enough to handle with unpacking the sudden dysphoria in my own head. There was […]

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UNCOVERING THE IDENTITY OF MY DONOR : PART 1

It’s been nearly three years to the day of learning that I am donor conceived, and not my father’s biological son. In that time, I have written extensively about most of my thoughts and experiences. That includes the cast of characters involved in the story, with special attention paid to my dad and sister, as […]

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PARENT’S RIGHTS VS. CHILD’S RIGHTS

The advent of spit-in-a-vile, mail order DNA tests has made the long-held notion of donor anonymity a relic of the past. But, it’s left scores of children in its wake who have substantive questions of identity. And for many, those questions are debilitating. I am part of several virtual support groups for donor conceived children, and it’s by and large not a happy forum.

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HOW A COUSIN BECOMES A COUSIN

I’ve gone to great lengths to apply innumerable coats of polish to about 75 percent of the words you’ve seen written in this blog since October 2019. But I’ve got to be honest ¬— that last cliché serving as evidence, this post is more an exercise in emotionally-fueled word vomit than it is a showcase […]

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DAD VS. DAD

In my DNA and sperm donation journey, I ended up on Miami’s FOX affiliate for an interview in December 2019. (Spoiler alert: It didn’t make me famous). But it granted me a format (video) and an audience to whom I could tell my story and the story of my father. Roughly 30 million people have […]

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THE AGONY OF INFERTILITY

Over the course of two years, in 2013 and 2014, I watched my best friend and his wife endure the pain and heartbreak of infertility issues. It was my first experience with infertility, even from a distance, with a couple I know up close. At first, they were candid about their ongoing attempts at natural […]

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