FERTILITY FRAUD ADVOCACY WORK WITH THE UNITED STATES CONGRESS

It’s late and my inclination to self-edit and polish my words on the way out of my fingertips is non-existent tonight. So stream of conscience is what you’ll get, because I’ve been eager to update you.

Last week, I and six other offspring of fertility fraud (mom’s doctors = our biological fathers) partook in two intense, full days of meetings with members of the U.S. House of Representatives and their aides, as well as a roundtable discussion and press conference with three congresswomen and members of the House Judiciary Committee.

The topic, if the last sentence and the title of the blog didn’t give it away, was fertility fraud. More specifically, it was about our shared goal of seeing federal legislation passed to outlaw it and provide a path to recourse for its victims. 

I tried writing that in a way that sounds less self-indulgent, but I confess that the magnitude of it all is hard to water down. And being there was a great way to feel incredible tiny and significant all at the same time.

On January 25, I met with NY Congressman Joe Morelle.

He represents NY’s 25th District, an area which includes Rochester, NY, the city where I was born and raised, and more importantly, the place where my mother became an (unknowing) victim of fertility fraud. It was a special feeling sitting in his office, recognizing the potential of having his support of legislation on behalf of the place I long called home. And then reminding myself that I was there at all because I’d contacted his office, asked for the meeting, and gotten it. The Congressman was engaged, asked great questions, even provided some recommendations for legislation, and showed genuine regard for us.

(Side note, no one from his office has paid me to say this, but I was blown away by Rep. Morelle’s preparation and engagement in our meeting. He and his team were researched and ready.)

I had a similar experience with Congresswoman Maria Elvira Salazar’s office. She represents Florida’s District 27, which includes the City of Miami, where I live now. To my surprise, Florida is in fact one of just 11 states that does have fertility fraud legislation on its books, so it was easier (from my vantage point) to ask the Congresswoman’s office to simply extend that support to the federal level. I explained that Florida is a leader on this topic and that the state could make a statement by endorsing federal legislation.

In all, I was part of seven meetings that day.

On January 26, our group attended and took our seats at the roundtable and press conference with members of the House Judiciary Committee and the four lead sponsors of the bill, Rep. Stephanie Bice (OK), Rep. Mikie Sherrill (NJ) Rep. Julie Letlow (LA) and Rep. Chrissy Houlahan (PA), and others.

Just minutes before the press conference, I learned that both Rep. Morelle and Rep. Salazar had agreed to co-sponsor federal legislation. I was genuinely overtaken by joy, the type that regrettably comes less easily after childhood. But I felt it. I had played a role in that, a meaningful one, and because of it, I caught a glimpse of what it really might look and feel like to see legislation passed in Washington, D.C. (Click here to watch video of the press conference, and this funny-but-important TikTok too)

Over the next hour, though, that feeling only intensified.

Each member of our six-some was given two to three minutes to share our stories, make our case for legislation, or both. I have heard these stories, and frankly, my own, hundreds of times, to the point I began to feel numb to the words associated with them. But I’m sure it was the raw emotion in front of me mixed with the magnitude of where we were, and with whom, that allowed me to feel these stories with fresh eyes and a softened heart. I was impressed. I was moved.

And I couldn’t help but think of my mother. It was hard not to. I was surrounded mostly by women who have or had a more visceral, personal experience with this issue than I will ever have as a product of it. In several of the stories, the fact that it is the children who are the ones taking up the cause of their mothers was noted. We collectively felt a sense of pride around that fact, knowing how nuanced this is for our moms.

We are at once their greatest joy and a living, breathing reminder of one of the most stomach-churning violations against their bodies.

I can’t begin to understand what that feels like. But I know what it felt like to be there on behalf of my mom and the mothers like her who have experienced this in silence. And I can’t wait for the day where we’ve collectively righted a wrong on their behalf. Hopefully, we’ll give them back a piece of their own power too.