BEHIND THE BERRY CHRONICLES

I wanted the first two blogs in ‘The Berry Chronicles‘ to land like a bomb.

Not for the shock value of it, though I knew that would come in spades. But because it was the only way I could try to bring someone into the rawest emotions that I felt the night I got that call. With my dad explaining to me that he is not my biological father. To me, it felt as if a bomb had gone off in my world.

As you read it, I wanted you to struggle to focus on what you saw and heard, and instead get sucked into the raw, call-it-like-I-felt-it experiences of that moment. But I digress.

I hope you’ve enjoyed the first few posts here. And if you have, I want to invite you in to some more detail about what you can expect moving forward. And some of what you won’t see moving forward.

Names and details will be changed. As this story unfolds you should know, in the spirit of transparency, that I’ve changed names and details to protect the identity of people who have opted not to have their stories told. As you might expect, by virtue of having five new half siblings, they have their own families who are also going through a similar version of this. The core of what is true won’t be affected by these changes/nuances.

The story is still in progress. In fact, it probably always will be. I learned that Morgan and Tom were my sister and brother, respectively, in September 2017. 11 months later, we discovered we had two more sisters. And in January 2019, we discovered that we have another brother. We also don’t know the identity of our biological donor. All of the above is subject to change as the story progresses.

I hope this helps parents and children who are affected by issues of origins. I have seen a therapist at least once a month since I received this news. I’ve also joined a few Facebook Groups that support parents of donor conceived children (or IVF children, or adopted children). And the children of these stories — like me. They’re all wrestling with what the right way to go about this. I hope they find this site and find comfort and hope.

My dad is the hero of my story. I hope that’s not a spoiler, but it’s true for me. And that belief is a driving force behind my point of view in how these stories are told. With that said, I intend to be transparent about the obstacles he and I faced together as we got to this point. It was a painful process. In the beginning, he was opposed to me sharing this story with anyone. Eventually, we broke through milestones together — we told close friends. And in May 2019, close to two years later, we finally told close family. My father and I have grown close in ways I wouldn’t have thought possible. And the irony of it all is that the thing that separates us is the thing that has brought us closer.

I will have new posts every Thursday. This is a bonus week — you got the first three posts, plus this one. But moving forward, I want you to have a sense of what there is to look forward to. The schedule is tentative. Between us, I am optimistic I’ll have guest posts from some of the people involved, and I believe that new discoveries will impact the order of things. But as of now, here is the schedule.

October 24 A Girl Named Morgan
October 31 Something’s Not Adding Up
November 7 A (New To Me) Sister & Brother
November 14 Sarah Berry
November 21 A Moment of Reflection
November 26* Sibling Meeting Day
December 5 Meet Chuck Berry
December 12 An Interview with My Parents
December 19 It’s a (Bigger) Family Affair
December 26 A Crisis of Identity
*Thanksgiving week; posted on Tuesday.

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-David